Efficiency vs. Curiosity: The Power of Informal Conversations
The Power of Informal Conversations: Efficiency vs. Curiosity.
As leaders and members of teams, we often find ourselves in formal structures. Before we talk about the power of informality, I want to recognize some benefits of why the formalities of business often exist. They are required for almost any org type for three important reasons:
Consistency & Accountability – Formal meetings provide a predictable schedule and ensure that necessary information is ready for review.
Prioritization – They allow leaders to focus on critical topics rather than being distracted by urgent but less important matters.
Operational Flow – Formality ensures smooth communication and execution, preventing inefficiencies and chaos.
So, now that we’ve cleared the air that this isn’t an anti-structure hit piece, let’s discuss why informal conversations are crucial for sharing truth, expressing real feelings, and building culture.
Whenever I get an employee, business partner, or friend in a one-on-one or small-group setting, the entire dynamic shifts. We ask each other how we’re really doing. We talk about our weekends, our kids, and sometimes our struggles. The goal of the meetup transitions from simply getting things done to being genuinely curious about how things are going. These two approaches—efficiency versus curiosity—are often worlds apart.
Being genuinely curious is not an efficient process, but it has the power to get to the root of issues in a way that formal structures cannot. Let’s look at two powerful examples from the Bible where Jesus, in informal settings, reached the heart of an issue and transformed lives.
Example #1: Jesus and Nicodemus (John 3:1-21)
Nicodemus, a religious leader, comes to Jesus at night—away from the public eye—because he likely wants an honest, unfiltered discussion without the pressure of a formal setting. It’s here that Jesus shares the famous words: "You must be born again." The depth of their conversation is so significant that after Jesus' death, Nicodemus takes the great risk of helping to secure His body for burial alongside Joseph of Arimathea. This informal, deep dialogue led to real transformation.
Example #2: Jesus and the Woman at the Well (John 4:1-26)
Jesus speaks with the Samaritan woman at a well, not in a synagogue or temple. Because they’re in a relaxed, one-on-one setting, she opens up about her life. Jesus asks great questions, and in this informal setting, she is disarmed. Their conversation leads to one of the most powerful personal revelations of Jesus as the Messiah, and she in turn spreads the news to her entire community.
Applying This to Leadership
As a leader, make sure to schedule some "informal" time on your calendar. This can be as simple as taking an employee to lunch or inviting a small group of leaders out for an activity. Talk to your people enough that these moments feel natural. These interactions go a long way in building trust, surfacing deeper issues, and fostering true connection.
Formal meetings drive efficiency, but informal conversations drive transformation. Jesus, the greatest leader of all time, modeled this perfectly. Let’s follow His example.
-Mark
